Top 10 Asshats of the Tech Industry

Among all the heroes of the technology industry — the Bill Gates, the Steve Jobs, the Kevin Roses, the Deidre LaCartes — there are just as many, if not more, asshats. Whether it’s arrogance, stupidity or a sweat gland deficiency, let’s explore the 10 biggest asshats of tech.

10. David Watanabe — Some might describe him as a shrewd businessman. I call him a twat. Watanabe is in a unique position on this list as the only independent application developer. But he rightfully earns the No. 10 spot on this list. His Mac apps are developed on top of code written and distributed for free (GPL), and he proceeds to slaps on retail store prices with ridiculous payment structures, charging more for family plans and lifetime upgrades. He is also a legend for terrible customer service and a wild advocate against piracy of his work. Did I mention half his products are designed for piracy? Nice.

9. Jason Calacanis — Once a media mogul responsible for organizing a large group of men living in their parents’ garages, the undeservingly arrogant Calacanis made a name for himself by having his company purchased by an irrelevant corporation, receiving a job high up in that corporation, and then installing a carbon copy of a more popular website on Netscape.com. His resignation from AOL was a sad day around the web, inciting such forlorn comments like, “So long idiot boy!

8. Ted Stevens — The man that silenced the halls of the Senate with a hard stance on the issue of net neutrality showed us that the Internet is, contrary to popular belief, “not a big dump truck,” but in fact, “a series of tubes.” Sen. Stevens (R-Alaska) is actually a pretty lovable guy, but being the butt of just about every joke on the Internet earns him a place on the list.

7. Adam Curry — Curry is a wonderful man. He is a world-reknowned video jockey, and the father and inventor of podcasting. He hosts the entertaining, informative and critically-acclaimed Daily Source Code podcast show. He has never heard of Wikipedia, and if he has, he’s never edited any entries. And if he has edited pages, he actually got confused and hit the wrong button. He is also really strong and totally cool. (Disclaimer: The information for this entry was taken from his Wikipedia page.)

6. Tom — He has more MySpace friends than me. Fuck him.

5. Tim Buckley — Also known as Absath, Buckley is the only asshat on this list that I have dealt with personally. It made me feel better knowing that he’s a dick to everybody. It’s not easy being a snob when you’re entire career is a rip-off of something better (although Calacanis got away with it, too), but Buckley pulls it off with flying colors. Notable dickery includes allegedly propositioning and sending naked pictures to a minor, misappropriating money from readers and a sense of humor on par with Garfield.

4. Steve Ballmer — You can’t really begin to comprehend the primal instincts behind this Microsoft CEO until you watch him on YouTube. His catch phrases include repeating the word “developers” until he drowns in a pool of his own sweat, acting like the Question Mark Guy and reportedly referring to Google CEO Eric Schmidt as “a fucking pussy,” shortly after throwing a chair.

3. Rupert Murdoch — I was just glad he bought MySpace, so I could put him on this list. The chairman of News Crop. owns two of the more evil entities on this earth: Fox News and MySpace. More recently, he has begun his attempt at poisoning the Wall Street Journal. I suspect he is getting dangerously close to converting the entire human race into zombies.

2. Ken Kutaragi — Once the undisputed king of video games, after the “father of Playstation” had a couple kids (and an autistic grandson), he seemed to be on the fast track to senility. He made a load of media blunders, like calling the Xbox 360 an “Xbox 1.5” and saying gamers should be honored to spend $600 on the PS3. It’s a real shame, too. He’s just a guy who loves technology. But his love for the cutting-edge put the Playstation 3’s price tag too far beyond the curve. Here today, gone tomorrow.

1. Mitch Bainwol — He is the CEO of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), notable for filing Internet piracy lawsuits against children, poor college students, Amish families (maybe) and dead people (seriously). Bainwol runs the worst company in America, and is well connected within the Republican party.

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1 comment so far

  1. Red Rum on

    Why I don´t like Microsoft and Windows

    I´ve used Windows all my life. My father had an old IBM with Windows 3.11 and Word Perfect that I could play PacMan on whenever he wasn´t using it for work. Around ´99, I got my first computer, an IBM with Windows 98 and 128 MB RAM. Four or f…


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